Life is GOOD!

So many changes in a year's time.  You think once you have kids that you only see it when you see them grow.  They change so fast.  But this blog always come back to remind me how much you can grow in a pretty damn small amount of time. 

I'm so happy with my life right now.  I'm grateful for my relationship with Caroline.  Divorce is never a thing that anyone really thinks they'll be in the middle of.  (I hate ending a sentence with a prepostition, but I don't want to think about that...)  Divorce has made my life, Caroline's life, and Zoey's life SOOOOOO much better.  Happy parents.  Happy Kid.

I tell this story a lot, but when C and I got a divorce, we separated, immediately set up our sharing schedule 50/50...  We figured everything out pre-lawyer.  Once we had it working right, then we called in ONE lawyer to write it up.  So, it was 6 months until we actually filed.  Anyway, we had to go through a Co-Parenting class. (mandatory).   We all go walking in together, cracking each other up.  See, we already became better friends in realizing this is how our life was going to be.  The future you had in your head of your child growing up in a traditional household is GONE.  Doesn't exist.  That's a blow.  No matter how much you know it's the right decision.  Once you get used to the fact, that this is the way it is going to be and there isn't any going back... there's a freedom in that. 

Sooo, anyway, we go marching in there pretty happy... and we see people weeping and shit.  And we immediately were like... Oh right... not everyone is in our situation.  We sat together... listened, giggled a little bit at "Lizard Brain" (which is what Z calls her new husband).  But then it came to this question about "signs you should look for in your kids while going through a divorce"... there were 10.  Zoey had about 5-7 of them... WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER... since we had lived apart for almost a year at this point... they had disappeared.  That solidified it for us.  We knew we were making the right decision.

Then... live life, cut out alcohol for a year.  I can drink now and not have any worries or anxiety about it.  It's a beautiful thing.  Topo Chico is a more beautiful thing.

My daughter is in Disney World.  Caroline made it happen man.  I'm so stoked for them.  Honestly, this is a way that divorce has led me to a non-traditional way of living (you know that future that you had in your head when you got married).  I am not sad about missing the trip. I'm honestly grateful I'm not there.  This is something her and her mom can always hold dear.  I get that reaction from her in other ways.  And I told Zoey when she said she wished I was gonna be there and she was gonna miss me... I told her that she wouldn't want me there anyway.  Daddy is not into princesses that much and that I would just bring a (roll my eyes) UGGGHHH do we have to go see this princess now?! GAAAAH.  and we laughed.  I'm grateful that my life allows for this to happen.  I'm grateful that I'm sitting and listening to music and writing in my living room with just me and my dog.  The ability to have your own life... along together with your child and your child's entire family is absolutely amazing.  I honestly wouldn't want to live my life in that "traditional" way.

I adore my time alone.  I feel like it's time away from Zoey that I am forced to be blessed with and I need to make the most of it.  I'm healthy. I walk the dog alot. I kayak when I can. I stretch, meditate, and keep my body in the best shape it can be.  Or at least I try.  I have figured out ways to better myself when my daughter isn't around.  And that makes me feel strong and confident. 

Which leads me to my girlfriend.
Yep.
It happened.
And I couldn't be more happy.

I can remember when she walked in for the interview... haha  ...  it's not like that I promise.  haha
But...
I always ask people that I'm in interviews with, a last question.. "So most folks in our line work have a stronger connection with music than your average joe.  What music do you listen to, or do you have a favorite genre?"  She stated that she'd gone to Nashville and was a singer out there and said it crashed and burned. 

Obviously I was like... really?!  Me too!  haha

Then... we worked together and got to know each other.  We realized we'd lived parallel lives.  Lived in the same spot of the country and grew up going to the same places.  So much in common.

... then on 4.26.17... we hugged.  There was a zing.  Something different.  Nothing like I've ever felt... especially from a hug.

Well, we moved forward, extremely cautiously. See, we both love our lives as they are.  Single, just us and our kids.  Or me and my kid rather.  The word "relationship" kinda made both of us throw up in our mouth a little bit.  So "friends with benefits" it was...  That didn't last long, the connection was too strong, and it was too damned amazing to not pursue.  So, we did.  And it was so easy.

And now, today, I am so fucking thankful for her. Divorce has given me the amazing opportunity to live as I want.  Cool thing is.. she wants to live in the exact same way.  We want our own space, we don't want to move our kids together.  She is trying to move to my area, not because of me, but it's definitely gonna be such a bonus!  Closer is better.

It's just so cool, we get together when we can.  She's lined out her weekends with her daughter along with mine.  So we, as grown parents, enjoy an entire weekend of just us.  That's what divorce has allowed us to do.  I'm fucking selfish because of it.  It's amazing!!  We camped out in the living room one weekend.  When's the last time you've done something like that "traditionally married" parents?! We get to be in control of when and where our kids interact.  Both of our exes are re-married, and we both know that that is something we don't want to do. We don't need no government up in our business! We have an amazing relationship, are madly in love, know that this is forever, but choose to not have that dictate our living arrangements.  It's our rules. WE CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT.  And THAT feels fucking amazing.

I'm grateful that I have her in my life.  I'm grateful that I get to see her and get a hug from time to time while we work together.  She's an amazing woman, amazing mother, full of passion for everything, and I'm so happy that I get to be her man.

I get to live life, on my own terms, with my own limits, with my own future as I see it.  I'm trying to better myself mentally, physically, and financially, as a father, a friend, and a human being.  And I'm so thankful for the life I have and the ones that surround me while I go through it.

So, I guess, in closing,
Life is good.